When to Bow in Prayers

Dear Tanta Golda,

I have a question, but I’m a little shy about asking because I feel I should know. I’ve noticed that during certain prayers some people, but not all, bow. What are the rules about this ritual? Do I have to have been Bat Mitzvahed?  B. Pondering

My dear Pondering B,

No need to be shy my dear, remember, as I always say, the only foolish question is the one you don’t ask!

Now, It may be that some of the people don’t bow, because like you, they’re not sure of the protocol about who, how, and when. So, let me try to explain. In Judaism you become a Bat Mitzvah at 12, and a Bar Mitzvah at 13, whether or not you have a ceremony (don’t tell the youngsters!) At this point, Judaism believes that a person is ready to take on their Jewish responsibilities for themselves. What this means for you bubbula, is that as long as you are Jewish, you can participate in any Jewish ritual even if you haven’t been called to the Torah. (Though it’s never too late for you to take on this challenge, just ask those sweet girls in Cleveland who were 89-96!) Now, if you’re not Jewish you can still bow to show respect if you wish to, but there are a few other rituals you aren’t invited to participate in, such as coming up for an aliya, or reading from the Torah.

 There are six standard places in the service where most people bow. (There is no prohibition about bowing if you feel so moved in other places.) Tanta Golda’s understanding is that we do this in recognition of HaShem’s sovereignty and our humility. At our Temple two of these are during silent prayers in the Amida, so I will focus on the other four.

- The Barechu – The call to prayer (We say these same words when called to the Torah so we bow here too.)

- The first line of the Avot (Baruch ata Adonai elohaynu vaylohay avotaynu v’emotanu)

- Last line of the Avot (Baruch ata Adonai magen Avraham v’ezrat Sara.)

- The second paragraph of the Aleinu

The how-to: 

During the Barechu we bow at the waist at the word Barechu and then straighten up.

Whenever we bow for the word Baruch we bend our knees at Baruch, bend over at ata, and straighten up at God’s name.

Now when we recite the Aleinu the formula is a bit different. We bend knees at Vanachnu korim, bend over during umishtachavim umodim, and then straighten at litnay melech. I like to tell the kinder that we lift our heads at litnay (like lift-nay).

As an aside I will mention that in Orthodox shuls only men bow during prayers. Women are excused from most rituals. Tanta Golda has a difficult time with the reasons behind this attitude, but all the more reason I’m glad to be a member of TBI!

I hope I’ve answered you questions, let me know if you have any more ponderings. Tanta G.