Next month my family and I will be unveiling our father’s footstone. Are there any special prayers or rituals we are supposed to observe?
Trying to be a dutiful mourner, N.
First please let me extend my condolences. Death of a parent is never easy. Traditionally, the head or footstone is unveiled eleven-twelve months after the deceased’s burial. In many parts of the world there is no ceremony associated with the unveiling, but in this country it is customary to have some kind of graveside ceremony. This can be done with or without a Rabbi. Usually several psalms are recited, the El Malei Rachamim is chanted (found on page 530 in Mishkan T'filah
, or 647 in the blue Gates of Prayer), followed by the mourner’s Kaddish. Orthodox tradition holds that one needs a minyan to recite Kaddish, but one is not mandatory in the Reform tradition. It is usually a simple ceremony that includes only close family and friends. I did not find a list of any specific psalms (psalm 23 is a common one as is 121), but Tanta Golda’s advice would be to pick 1-3 that seem meaningful to you, or relevant or the deceased. The ceremony should not be considered a second funeral, but rather a time of personal reflection of one’s memory of the deceased.
, or 647 in the blue Gates of Prayer), followed by the mourner’s Kaddish. Orthodox tradition holds that one needs a minyan to recite Kaddish, but one is not mandatory in the Reform tradition. It is usually a simple ceremony that includes only close family and friends. I did not find a list of any specific psalms (psalm 23 is a common one as is 121), but Tanta Golda’s advice would be to pick 1-3 that seem meaningful to you, or relevant or the deceased. The ceremony should not be considered a second funeral, but rather a time of personal reflection of one’s memory of the deceased.
I will conclude with the English translation of the El Malei Rachamim. I hope that your trip to your father’s gravesite will not be one so much of sadness, but of celebration of his life.
With thoughts of comfort and blessing, Tanta Golda
El Malei Rachamim:
Exalted G-d full of compassion, grant the fullness of Your peace to the soul of _________, who has gone to his/her rest. May s/he share in the glory of the upright, the luster of whose purity is as the brightness of the firmament. Her/his memory lives in the hearts of his/her dear ones as an inspiration to the deeds of charity and goodness. May s/he be granted the bliss of eternal life. Shelter her/him forever, merciful G-d, under the wings of Your protecting love, and my his/her love be bound up in the bond of eternal life. G-d is his/her possession. May s/he rest in peace. Amen
No comments:
Post a Comment
Please feel free to leave your questions for Tanta Golda here.