Dear Tanta Golda,
As I was reflecting during services last week, I looked around the congregation and noticed the variety of head coverings worn. Most of the men were wearing yarmulkas as were some of the women. At my cousin’s synagogue, most of the women wear doily things on their heads, and some wear hats! What is the deal? Does one have to cover one’s head?
Baffled Beanie Boy
My darling Baffled,
You have brought up two issues for us to look at, head covering for men and hair covering for women. First to clarify terms: yarmulka is yiddish, probably Polish in origin, meaning cap. Kippah (plural kippot) is Hebrew, meaning dome. Either term is acceptable.
The sources for wearing kippah are first found in the Babylonian Talmud, meaning that it is rabbinic in origin, not Torah based. Halakhic experts (experts on Jewish law) agree that it is a minhag, custom, albeit one that has taken on something like a force of law. From a strictly Talmudic point of view, however, the only moment when a Jewish man is required to cover his head is during prayer. Any form of head covering is acceptable, though Tanta Golda has learned that some religious movements use certain colors or materials to distinguish themselves from others.
In Shabbat 156b (Talmud) it states: "Cover your head in order that the fear of heaven may be upon you." Rabbi Shlomo Chein wrote that when we wear a reminder on our head it is not because we don’t believe so inside, but rather to turn our thoughts into an action, just like we wear a wedding ring, even though we know we love our spouse. Reasons given today for wearing kippot include: recognition that G-d is above us; acceptance of the commandments; and identification with the Jewish people.
Now, my curious friend, women traditionally wear head coverings for a different reason. This custom originates from the laws dealing with the sotah (suspected adulteress.) A woman’s hair is seen as a key to her beauty, and the role this plays in married life. In the Talmud (Berachot 24a), a married woman's hair is defined as ehrva, those parts of the body that are kept covered for reasons of modesty. In the past, this was a societal norm, as it still is in many cultures.
In some communities, women only cover their hair in synagogue, or during times of ritual, such as lighting the Shabbat candles. In others, usually orthodox and Chassidic, married women wear head coverings all the time. This ranges from wearing a scarf of some type, completely covering the hair, to those who cut their hair quite short and then wear a wig and/or a hat.
In its early beginnings, the Reform movement did away with head covering for men and women, but over time many people - men and women- have opted to cover their heads while in shul. I hope that this has answered your questions my sweet baffled. Perhaps you can request a kippah for Hannukah!
Tanta Golda
When saying the mourners Kaddish at home, should a woman cover her head???? I have been, but wasn't sure if I am supposed to. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteI have bags of kippot from a lifetime of going to Bar and Bat Mitzvah. What is the proper way to dispose of them?
ReplyDeleteDear Anonymous,
ReplyDeleteYou ask two excellent questions! I'll post answers separately.
First - you ask about covering your head while reciting the Kaddish. There is no halacha (Jewish law) regarding this, but minhag (custom) would say 'yes'. Remember, men are supposed to cover their heads when they say prayers, so as a modern woman, it would be in line with custom, as well as just a way to further show respect for your loved one.
As an aside - in many traditional Orthodox communities, women don't say kaddish - their male relations step in as surrogates. If none are available, then women 'hire' someone to say it for them. This has never made sense to Tanta Golda, but that should be another blog post!
Now my darling anonymous you ask about proper disposal of kippot.
ReplyDeleteI checked two of my trusted sources to ensure that I don't mislead you.
Both Rabbi Yossi at AskMoses.com, and Rabbi Posner with Chabad, say that kippot are not holy objects like tallism, and don't require any special treatment when disposing of them, e.g. you can throw them away! I know this doesn't feel right, so two suggestions:
1. If they are in good condition you could perhaps donate them to your synagogue. Tanta Golda belongs to a small Temple, and we appreciate member donations. Larger congregations who like to provide one uniform kippa may not be as appreciative.
2. Double wrap your kippot in a plastic bag so they don't get all slimed up, and place them in your trash. This shows some 'respect'. Rabbi Posner suggests this for mitzvah objects (which kippot are not) such as tallit bags.