What About Passover on Shabbat?

Dear Tanta Golda,

I understand that Passover starts on Shabbat this year. It there anything special I’m supposed to do?

Poorly Prepped for Pesach

Dear Poorly,

In case you haven’t noticed, Tanta Golda herself was not raised in an Orthodox home so she had to look this one up to be certain. The short answer – no. If Passover was starting on Saturday evening this would be a whole different story, but this doesn't occur again until 2021 so why look for trouble?

In this case the only effect on your Seder observance will the blessing said over the candles. – Remember, candles are lit for every Yom Tov.

So on Friday night you will say: Baruch ata Adonai, Eloheinu Melach haolam, asher kid’shanu b’mitzvotov, v’tzivanu, l’hadlik ner shel Shabbat v’Yom Tov.

For more Passover questions answered, check out my blogs from March and April of 2011

Love as always, and may your matzah always be crispy,

Tanta Golda

Quinoa for Pesach?

Dear Tanta Golda,
I'm going to be hosting a large group at my house on the second night of Pesach. I was wondering, can I serve quinoa?
Curious


Dearest Curious,


An interesting question! I'd say yes as it isn't one of the 5 prohibited grains: wheat, rye, oat, barley, spelt.


As you may know some Ashkenazic Jews also refrain from rice, and legumes such as peas ( this always seemed silly to me - I mean if it isn't in flour form, why not?) and Sephardic Jews often refrain from corn and rice as well as legumes.

Quinoa doesn't make any of these lists. It originated in the Andes - historically not a part of the world that our ancestors migrated from. Now perhaps rabbis in South America have made "rulings" on this, but I'd say you're safe.

Have a Happy Pesach!

Tanta Golda

Jewish Humor

Dear Tanta Golda,

I recently picked up a joke book and I noticed that there were quite a few Jewish jokes. This got me wondering: Why are there so many Jewish mother jokes? Don’t Catholics, Buddhists, and Jehovah’s Witnesses have mothers? Aren’t they funny too?
Son of a Jewish mother

Dear son,

Jewish mothers are funny? I hadn’t noticed…
All I do is worry about you – Stop slouching, you think I don’t know you’re slouching out there on the other side of this letter? Do you want to be as hunched over as that poor hunchback of Notre Dame? Do you think he had a Jewish mother? Of course not! Look at him.

Now where were we? Oy yes, why Jewish humor. There are some who say that Jewish humor stems from the legal and intellectual methods used in the Talmud, where the arguments are so elaborate and situations used so absurd, as to border on humor. I don’t know that the scholars of the time saw themselves as comedians, but it’s an interesting concept to ponder.

Now that you’re done pondering, let’s look at more modern roots of Jewish humor. Much of what we in the United States think of as “Jewish Humor” had its roots in Eastern Europe. Why is Eastern Europe so important to humor? Well, bubalah that is where the majority of American Jews can trace their ancestry. So now, think pogroms, blood libel, and the Holocaust. Is it any wonder that Saul Bellow once said, “Oppressed people tend to be witty.” It was a part of a long tradition in Eastern Europe to mock powerful people. Look at Purim Shpeils. A scholar of Jewish humor – Rabbi Woldoks – said that humor defends the poor against the exploitation of the upper classes or other authority figures (even rabbis!)

This style of self- deprecating humor was brought to American consciousness first through vaudeville, then radio, stand-up, films, and television. It is true that comedians have been disproportionally Jewish, though the past 15 or so years as seen a rise in the same sort of self deprecating humor coming from the African-American and Hispanic communities.

The stereotype of the overbearing Jewish mother and smothered son, was further fueled by fiction writers such as Herman Wouk and Philip Roth. Author William Helreich (another nice Jewish boy) posited that the attributes we associate with Jewish mothers (over protective, pushy, and guilt inducing) can equally describe mothers of other ethnicities. These traits have their roots in the self sacrifice of first generation immigrants who then transfer their aspirations onto their darlings. And why wouldn’t they? It has been noted that as the immigrant generation becomes further removed, mother jokes have morphed into the Jewish grandmother joke. Hmph!

If one does a web search (not for spiders, Tanta Golda wouldn’t tolerate them in her home!) there are plenty of jokes about Catholics (often listed as ‘clean’) and even Buddhists. The fact is – in Tanta Golda’s unbiased opinion – Jews are just funnier.

Yahrzeit Candle on the Birthday?

Find at amazon:Yahrzeit candles Yarhzeit candle holders

Tanta Golda,

I read your blog about lighting Yahrzeit candles (Oct ’10) and I was wondering: can I light a candle to honor my deceased father’s birthday?

Dutiful Daughter

Dearest Dutiful,

What a lovely question! To answer let us first look at why we light Yahrzeit candles in the first place. It is believed that the candle represents the soul of the departed which is never extinguished in our hearts. Like the flame of a candle, a human life is fragile and should be nourished and cherished. As it says in Proverbs, "The soul of man is the candle of G-d."

In other words, we light the candles so that every time we see the flame we are reminded of our loved ones. There is no prohibition that Tanta Golda can find against lighting a candle in addition to the traditional times (anniversary of their passing, erev Yom Kippur, and the conclusion of the three pilgrimage holidays: Sukkot, Pesach, & Shavuot.) I can see nothing wrong with wanting to honor and remember your father on his birthday by lighting a Yahrzeit candle. Yahrzeit candles 

May their memories be a blessing - Tanta G

Where did the Star of David Come From?

Dear Tanta Golda,

A friend of mine asked me a question the other day and I was embarrassed to realize I didn’t know the answer! What does the Star of David represent, and why is it on the Israeli flag?

Hoping to Save Face

Dear Hoping,

Don’t be so hard on yourself my dear, that’s what Jewish mothers are for!

The star of David, or Magen David you may be surprised to learn, has no religious significance. It isn’t even mentioned in rabbinic literature until the Middle Ages. It is  however, an ancient symbol that was used by a number of cultures including Christians and Muslims. In the Middle East and North Africa the symbol of intertwined equilateral triangles is thought to be a symbol of good luck.

Some Kabbalists, who are always looking for hidden meaning in things, have proffered that the six points represent God’s presence everywhere - in the six cardinal directions: up, down, north, south, east, and west. (The same reason we shake the luluv in these directions during Sukkot.) They also believe the two triangles themselves symbolize humanity’s dual nature - good and evil. Think of it as the Jewish ying-yang.

Now of course other scholars have other ideas: that the upward triangle points towards God, and the downward towards the real world. Some say that the intertwining of the triangles show the inseparability of the Jewish people. Others point to the twelve sides as representing the twelve tribes of Israel. It’s amazing the symbolism one can find when one is searching for meaning!

There is a midrash, a Jewish Aesop fable of sorts, that when King David was a teen he fought King Nimrod. On his shield were two interlocking triangles. During the heat of the battle these fused together reinforcing the shield, enabling him to win the day. Such a lovely visual of strength! 

According to Tanta Golda’s sources, sometime in the 17^th century the Magen David started to become a way to distinguish the Jewish part of town, and began to be used to denote synagogues, much the way a cross indicates a church.

On the less pleasant side of our discussion, Hitler was not the first to employ the use of the star as a means to single out Jews. During the lovely Middle Ages it was not uncommon that Jews had to wear some kind of identifying badge. Often stars, but I should point out, not always.

When the Israeli flag was designed there was some controversy because of its recent negative association with the Holocaust. And, there are those who feel that the star is a trifle, not really a Jewish symbol, and therefore shouldn’t be on the flag!

Bubbelah, let me end on a lighter note by sharing a little bit of Magen David trivia:

-In the 1950’s Heathrow airport had six runways that were laid out… you guessed it, in the pattern of the Magen David, each a little over a mile long!

-The largest Star of David is….a building on the Smokey Hills Weapons Range in Kansas. Or so Wikipedia claims.

-And finally, in 2007 an Israeli flag was unfurled near Masada, breaking the World’s Record as the largest flag ever recorded!    

Much love as always - Tanta Golda

Why Should You Convert in the Reform Stream?

Dear Tanta Golda-

I’ve become friends with two gentlemen who wish to convert, but I’ve been wrestling with the process they must go through. If only ultra-orthodox conversions are accepted in Israel and even in some of our own Jewish communities, why should a person convert in Reform Judaism? Why do we insist that they be more versed in Judaism than many who are born Jewish?
Struggling with Old Fashioned Conformity

My darling Struggler,
I’m glad that you have welcomed these proselytes, newcomers to our faith. A mitzvah on your head!
You have challenged Tanta Golda’s assumptions, so I’ve spent some time reviewing an excellent book on contemporary Reform practice – Jewish Living, by Mark Washofsky, for guidance on this question from your heart.

Even among the Reform, one does not become a Jew merely by declaring, “I am a Jew” or “I accept the Jewish religion.” One must either be born or become a Jew through a process recognized and administered by the community. It might help you to think of an analogy to citizenship.  Just because someone “feels” American and participates in many American traditions, even if they have a green card, they are still barred from participating in all the rights and obligations (such as voting) that someone “natural born,” or one who has completed the formal process of naturalization, is entitled to. Converstion is our form of naturalization. 

We ask the proselyte to undergo a formal process whose rituals evoke the experience of the Israelites at Sinai when we as a community accepted the Torah and all its laws. In a sense we all became converts at Sinai.

The Torah recognized that the ger-the stranger amongst us often does take part in some aspects of Judaism, and when they do “the same law applies to them as the Israelite.” However, the Torah also demands that we guarentee them justice. This very requirement testifies to their inequality in Jewish society - even Reform Jewish society.

Long ago there was a term - Ger Toshav - which refered to a gentile who had adopted a number of Jewish practices without converting. Jewish law no longer recognizes this semi-proselyte as a status. There have been some proposals in Reform circles to bring it back, to recognize the reality that exists within our congregations today, where non-Jewish relatives are not ‘outsiders’ but play an active role in our communities. I’m sure you can think of a number of examples within the TBI community.

However, Reform reponsa (written decisions and rulings given by scholars of Jewish law) do not accept this. Citing two reasons: 1) the term no longer has meaning as it applies to any monotheist -this was a bigger deal in ancient times when the term was first coined  2) this term for the ‘virtual Jew’ implies that they have the rights and obligations to participate equally, but except perhaps in the rare Reform syangogue, they don’t. These full rights come from full membership - just like your right to vote and serve on a jury come from full membership as a US citizen.

Continueing with the citizen analogy - are there ‘natural born’ US citizens who are all but ignorant of US history, the workings of government, or even how to read, write, and speak English well? Of course, just as there are ‘natural born’ Jews ignorant of Jewish history, rituals, and language. Yet in both cases these people are granted full rights and previlages just by virtue of birth. Should it be otherwise?  Well, this question is outside of Tanta Golda’s scope of advice! You have raised excellent questions and I hope I’ve given you guidance in your struggle. TG

Naming Ritual for Girls

Dear Tanta Golda,

A cute young couple at our Temple recently gave birth to a daughter, and I was wondering what rituals there are for baby girls? I’ve heard something about a naming ceremony. Does it have to be done on the eighth day like the Brit Milah ceremony for boys?
Marveling at the Miracle of Birth

My darling Marveling,

Mazel Tov to the parents of the newborn! 

Let’s begin with some wisdom from the Rabbis. In the Torah it says that Abraham was blessed with “everything.” According to the Talmud (baba batra 16a) this means that Abraham had a daughter. Why does ‘everything’ mean he had a daughter? Because, according to Rabbi Shraga Simmons, a daughter represent the fullness of life. Celebrating a daughter is the celebration of Jewish survival.

The Talmud also says that an angel comes to every Jewish parent and whispers the Jewish name the new daughter will embody, so her name is divinely inspired! 

But you asked about rituals and ceremonies, which I will explain in two parts: Ashkenazi and Sephardic traditions.

Among the Ashkenazi, it is tradition for the father to be called up for an aliyah (the honor of reciting the blessings before and after a Torah reading) at the synagogue the first Shabbat after a girl is born. At this time a Mi Sheberach prayer is also said for the mother’s health and the name of their daughter is recited. Since the Torah can only be read in the presence of a minyon (group of at least ten adults), the naming becomes an honor shared with the community.  Among the conservative stream, some additional rituals have developed. These may involve a) lighting 7 candles – representing the 7 days of creation, b) wrapping the girl in the four corners of a tallit, and/or c) lifting her up and touching her hands to a Torah scroll. In the Reform community, a baby naming ceremony involving both parents is often celebrated thirty days after the birth. Of course Tanta Golda’s sources all say something slightly different. One says that the congregation honors the parents with a kiddush (refreshments) after a service, while another says that it is customary for the parents of the newborn to sponsor a special kiddush for the congregation within the year. Both of these are a way for the parents to celebrate the gift they’ve been given and gives the community an opportunity to give their blessings to the child and family.

The Sephardic customs seem to be fairly similar. The ceremony is called a zeved habat  (literally - gift of the daughter.) A prayer of Thanksgiving is given either by or for the mother, the Song of Songs is receited - 2:14, and if it is their first daughter 6:9 is also said, then a slightly different version of the MiSheberach is said during which their daughter is named. This is often followed by a formal feast.

The biggest difference has to do with naming traditions. The Sephardic community has the custom of naming a child in honor of a living relative, in the hopes that the newborn will form a bond with their namesake and learn from their example. The Ashkenazi however, never name a child after someone living. So, it is very rare to find someone named after their father. Some of this is based on superstition - it is feared that the angel of death may be confused and come for the wrong individual! A child doesn’t necessarily have to have the exact same name. Sometimes the child shares the initial letter or sound with the relative being remembered. For example, Tanta Golda’s son is named Joshua after his grandmother Joan.

Please note that throughout I have used the word tradition.  There is no biblical injunction pertaining to the birth of a daughter. (Once again we see the male bias in the ancient world.) These are customs that have developed over time in response to a desire by parents and the community to honor the importance of welcoming daughters into the covenant. As the Talmud says, though not in so many words, without daughters there would be no continuation of the Jewish people.

May the couple’s newest addtion bring them more joy than tsuris (woe, aggrevation)! I hope the congregation has the opportunity to honor them (and her big sister) and welcome their daughter into the community soon.

Love, TG